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How to manage issues with your MIL/Mother during Omugo

If you are like me, until you have your first child you won't have a reason to live with your Mother in-law
for an extended period. Just like every relationship that is budding, you will have to get to know one
another, and this time emotions are high because of the new baby and disagreements can happen and if
not properly managed it might ruin the relationship and we don't want that.

I disagreed with my Mother in-Law on a couple of things during her visit, and at the time it was not
managed properly. I am grateful for wisdom to just apologise to her even if I felt there was no need to but
it could have potentially ruined our relationship if I didn't swallow my pride. We don't hate each other, we
just didn't agree on methods of taking care of the child.

I decided to write this article because I know many more people will or are going through such and I am
hoping that it will help new mothers who are having issues with their mother in laws or mothers
when they come for Omugwo and to better handle situations when they arise;

Be understanding: Try to understand  where they are coming from and know now that
they want to do the best for the baby. They have the experience handing down to their mothers and
they feel “We raised you all and nothing happened to you” It is accepted that some of their methods
might be archaic and with the advent of technology we are now enlightened.
So, just understand with them and know that they ultimately want whats best for you and the baby.

Pick your battles: There would quite a number of things you will disagree on,
just pick your battles.
Save your obvious disagreement for the important things. Leave things that cannot affect the baby
negatively in anyway and focus on practices that can harm the baby in the long run e.g using lantern to
heal the umbilical cord etc.

Joke about it: When you do disagree, don’t just get angry or frustrated.
Try to joke about it and
remind them that they were the ones that sent you to school to be more enlightened than them
and they are reaping the fruit of your education.

Be firm on Important things to you:
Be firm in a loving manner and educate
her on what you are
saying. If you have to send her an article to read do that. Just make sure you don’t let it slide.
Be tactical so you don’t offend her but

Talk to them or send your spouse; And if you can’t get through to them
(as some people
can be stubborn) send your spouse to talk to them, or a family member you know they listen to.

Stay grateful for the help you get: Be grateful that you have help
because remember that
in a couple of weeks you will be alone with the baby and you will be wanting all the help
you can get. Be grateful for the help.

Did you have any issues with your Mum or Mother In-law during her visit? What did you learn from the experience?


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