I recently had a 3 days virtual hangout with a group of mums, we talked about different things. From being parents to toddlers, potty training, sleep training & home educating your child. Here are some of the things we talked about; 

* Toddlers are emotional human beings and all strategies are not one size fits all but we can have a couple of options to help us make handling them better for us. 

* We agreed that crying and whining is not necessarily for no reason while they might have a hard time expressing themselves but we should always connect with them & acknowledge their emotions.

* All feelings are valid but not all behaviour is acceptable. Acknowledge the feelings and continue to reiterate better behaviour 

* Model what you want them to do

* Consistency with our instructions and leading is key 

* Forgive your toddler in advance for all the things they will do to you in the day before the day starts and after each tantrum or anything, try to refresh in your mind like they didn't just do it, so we can be less frustrated by them. 

* Give them 2 choices you are fine with and let them pick from those choices

* Use positive statements, instead of saying "Don't run" or "stop jumping" give them the alternative of what to do, because saying "don't run" leaves them hanging and we are not telling them what to do instead. So, give them the option of what to do.. Instead of "don't run" say "Please, walk" instead of "stop shouting" say "Use your inner voice" so basically find positive alternatives. 

* We also agreed that children are not really lazy they are just not interested in that thing we want them to do, an option is to anchor what we want them to do as a prerequisite for what they want to do. e.g Clean up the living room then you can play your video games 

* Another mum talked about Consequences, have the talk in advance, you lose your tv privileges for a few days or few hours if you do Xyz or don't do Xyz and when it's time for the consequence you can empathize with them but the rules are the rules. 

* Visual Schedules: Printing out a visual schedule of what is to happen throughout the day can help them know what is next and there can be a reward system in place

* Acknowledge when they have done something. Doesn't just have to be "good job" "well done" but state what exactly they did "I see you took your plate to the kitchen without being prompted, that's thoughtful" 

* The mums who have an older toddler and a baby, It works differently for each of the children but consistency with preparing your child even after the baby is born, taking minutes each day to focus on just the toddler, giving your toddler gifts from the baby are some of the things that have worked for some of the mums. Give them time to adjust too. It's more work for the mum realistically. 

* We also talked about spanking and most of us agreed that it is possible not to spank but it is harder work, the reason why we might look to reduce spanking is for your kids to also not think it's okay to do it, it's traumatic for them and it informs how their brain is wired, it induces fear in them. While it is a lot of work it's beneficial to them. 

* If there are specific things that they do a lot they grinds you e.g Jumping, throwing, somersaulting those types of things, give them a set time to do that thing so that they can always look forward to it. 

* We also agreed that the toddler years are short and intense, but patience is key as we go through this phase. 

What tips would you add?