SAHM
stay at home mum
Here are my tips to help you be productive;
How to be productive as a stay at home mum || The Cuddle Blog
When I started my journey as a stay at home mum, one of the things I found out that was very challenging for me was the fact that I found it very hard to stay productive in the midst of changing diapers, a fussy baby and trying to entertain a baby. There was little or no chance to be productive and at night when you feel that you could be productive, you had to sleep.
I went round the circle for a couple of months and I found out that I hardly and rarely got anything done and when I did, it was with a struggle.
Put in the work: I know that you are extremely tired and exhausted from all things that you do during the day but you need to know somewhere at the back of your mind that you need to put in the work. If we keep hiding behind tiredness and exhaustion (Which is legit) we wont do anything else aside taking care of our children and the home but we also want to be productive and do things that will develop us as women and not be on the same level during our stay at home periods.
Set time aside: Set a block of time designated as your “working hours” this time is dedicated to doing uninterrupted work to make progress. No multitasking, pick one thing and finish then move to the next. I set my block of time after my child has slept and I dedicate those times to do the work I need to do and move on.
Get armed with the right tools: Now that you have adjusted your mind to know that you need to work hard, it's time for the right tools. Let’s start with your environment. Ask yourself, what is making me unproductive. Clutter? No designated space? Noise? Deal with that. When you have a decluttered designated working Space, you will become more productive. What gets you in the right frame of mind? I listen to music (I have a playlist) and I get in the mood to do some work because I get so pumped. So, what gets you in the right frame of mind? Music? Affirmations? What other tools help? A journal to document what you want to achieve for the day, to-do lists and follow through.
Get rid of the distractions: This days one of our biggest distractions is our phones. I put my phone in another room when I need to work. I know some of us need our phones to work, you can block off notifications, put it on airplane mode, turn it upside down. Whatever, is distracting you should be done away with for the block of time.
Reward yourself when you achieve your goals (no matter how small) You want to create a system where you are expecting your reward for smashing your goal for the week. I kick back and catch up on my shows when I do achieve my goals.
Review at the end of the week or the beginning of the next week; You are reviewing your productivity level and your work system. What were you able to achieve in the week? Why was I able to achieve it? What was I not able to achieve? Why wasn't I able to achieve it?? Which work system is working? Which isn't? What fuels my productivity? What doesn't? Am I making progress towards my overall goal? These are questions you want to answer weekly.
Rest! Take a day off! Just rest because body no be firewood.
It is only with discipline that all of this is achievable. Stay disciplined and be productive! In my next post, I will share my practical list of what keeps me productive.
So, tell me in the comment section, how do you stay productive today? What are your biggest challenges with productivity? let me know.
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SAHM
I started my career at a cloud computing company. I gained a lot of experience but when I was about to get married, I had a choice to make, where I was going to be moving to will be far away from my current office. Not like it wasn’t possible because there are people who make such trips every day but I didn’t want to start my married life with that type of stress. In addition to that, my almost-husband who has a photography company said to me that his company needed my set of skills and I should think about working with him. So, I made a decision to leave and work with him.
The cloud computing firm I was working for decided that I could work from home since I worked mostly with clients and I could do my work remotely. I was excited about the extra income and it worked well for the next 1 ½ years.
When I welcomed my baby I had taken a back seat from working with my husband but I still did work for my company but as time went by, the demands of a young baby, the working hours of the job, my zero time-management skills, my decreasing interest in the job and not so encouraging salary made me start thinking of leaving the job and focus on taking care of my baby.
Another major thing that influenced my decision was, part of my job description was to talk to clients over the phone. I would call clients and there would be a baby crying in the background. I won’t be able to leave my baby alone because I was alone and I had to make those calls. This happened a lot of times and I felt it was just enough. It just felt a bit unprofessional for that to keep happening and I couldn’t do my work until my baby slept because I had a contract of the time I would work and it was difficult to manage it all.
Zero social Life: Except for Sundays, until my child turned 1 i didn't really have any social life. I hardly went for events, visits or did anything for fun outside my home. It might be considered a very lonely life but it was the reality of making the choice. Most days until my husband got back from work, I had no adult interactions and that can drive one up the wall.
Hinging self-worth on current status: It is very easy to start to hinge your self-worth on the fact that you are now a mum that is not contributing financially to the home, not intellectually stimulated, not feeling fulfilled as an individual and all those other feelings that come with being a sahm.
No Income: A big challenge to being a stay at home mum is the fact that you are not having any income. You have to always make a request before you can purchase anything or keep eating into your savings.
2. Look for other ways to stimulate yourself intellectually. Talk to friends over the phone, watch intellectually stimulating videos online, keep up with current happenings so you are not outdated. Get social online.
3. Remind yourself that the choice you made to be a sahm is not a downgrade but the best decision you can ever make. No one is better than you and you are not better than anyone because of the choice. Find other creative outlets that have flexible hours. start a blog, guest writing on existing blogs if you don't want that responsibility, start a youtube channel, organize play dates with other mums.
4. Ask for a stipend from your husband; No matter how small. I know there are people who out of frustration of not earning an income start a business that thrives that is a great thing but there are people who just want to take of their children - I am not saying one shouldn't make money and there are people who have made this work but it all aligned with the season they were in - For instance it is easier to focus on making money when you have a secondary school child than when you have a baby less than 1-year-old. In those times when you are in a season where it is not feasible to make money - ask for a stipend and save from that stipend.
Keep shinning mama!!
This post was first published on Lagos Mums
My Journey to being a stay at home mum
I started my career at a cloud computing company. I gained a lot of experience but when I was about to get married, I had a choice to make, where I was going to be moving to will be far away from my current office. Not like it wasn’t possible because there are people who make such trips every day but I didn’t want to start my married life with that type of stress. In addition to that, my almost-husband who has a photography company said to me that his company needed my set of skills and I should think about working with him. So, I made a decision to leave and work with him.
The cloud computing firm I was working for decided that I could work from home since I worked mostly with clients and I could do my work remotely. I was excited about the extra income and it worked well for the next 1 ½ years.
When I welcomed my baby I had taken a back seat from working with my husband but I still did work for my company but as time went by, the demands of a young baby, the working hours of the job, my zero time-management skills, my decreasing interest in the job and not so encouraging salary made me start thinking of leaving the job and focus on taking care of my baby.
Another major thing that influenced my decision was, part of my job description was to talk to clients over the phone. I would call clients and there would be a baby crying in the background. I won’t be able to leave my baby alone because I was alone and I had to make those calls. This happened a lot of times and I felt it was just enough. It just felt a bit unprofessional for that to keep happening and I couldn’t do my work until my baby slept because I had a contract of the time I would work and it was difficult to manage it all.
The decision making process.
When my son was 5 months I made the choice to focus on taking care of him. Thinking about leaving the job made me cry. It wasn't about leaving that particular job but the fact that I was letting go of my career. I convinced myself that ultimately no amount of fulfillment in these other areas will make up for my failure in this equally important area - a bit extreme but it made me see reason - I gave myself one week to mourn, think of alternative ways to keep myself busy and other flexible ways I could be engaged without letting my availability suffer. It was a very long week and a very hard decision to make but I made it.How has the journey so far been?
It has been one interesting journey in the past 1 year and 4 months. I did not plan in my life to be a stay at home mum, it fell on me and I am grateful I took the path. I know not everyone will be privileged to do it even if they wanted to, so I am grateful to be able to nurture my son and teach him actively for the first few years of his life The challenge of becoming a mum pushed me into being a better version of myself. Because I did not want to be seen as someone who didn't have a 'life' so, I chose a new career path and focused on doing other things that were flexible enough for me to still be available.Challenges I have faced from being a sahm.
Being Overwhelmed: The routine drives me nuts. Being so close to the routine of a child when they are your primary priority can be very tiring. I know children thrive on routines and I tried so much to make sure I put my son on a routine very early but for me going through the day, everything feels the same and coupled with other things around the house it can get overwhelming. I struggle with being so overwhelmed with everything.Zero social Life: Except for Sundays, until my child turned 1 i didn't really have any social life. I hardly went for events, visits or did anything for fun outside my home. It might be considered a very lonely life but it was the reality of making the choice. Most days until my husband got back from work, I had no adult interactions and that can drive one up the wall.
Hinging self-worth on current status: It is very easy to start to hinge your self-worth on the fact that you are now a mum that is not contributing financially to the home, not intellectually stimulated, not feeling fulfilled as an individual and all those other feelings that come with being a sahm.
No Income: A big challenge to being a stay at home mum is the fact that you are not having any income. You have to always make a request before you can purchase anything or keep eating into your savings.
Solutions to the challenges.
1. Take a break from time to time. You need the time to recharge. Send the kid(s) to their grandmas or you get out of the house and let them and daddy bond. The alone time will do you a lot of good.2. Look for other ways to stimulate yourself intellectually. Talk to friends over the phone, watch intellectually stimulating videos online, keep up with current happenings so you are not outdated. Get social online.
3. Remind yourself that the choice you made to be a sahm is not a downgrade but the best decision you can ever make. No one is better than you and you are not better than anyone because of the choice. Find other creative outlets that have flexible hours. start a blog, guest writing on existing blogs if you don't want that responsibility, start a youtube channel, organize play dates with other mums.
4. Ask for a stipend from your husband; No matter how small. I know there are people who out of frustration of not earning an income start a business that thrives that is a great thing but there are people who just want to take of their children - I am not saying one shouldn't make money and there are people who have made this work but it all aligned with the season they were in - For instance it is easier to focus on making money when you have a secondary school child than when you have a baby less than 1-year-old. In those times when you are in a season where it is not feasible to make money - ask for a stipend and save from that stipend.
Conclusion.
It is important not to keep looking over your shoulder to what the next person is doing and not appreciating the season you are in. You can't compare yourself as a first time mum without help who is at home taking care of her child to a woman with 2 almost-teenager who has a nanny and runs a high flying business. In the journey of motherhood there are different seasons and times, in this season of taking care of your child(ren) at home in their early years, develop yourself and be the best version of you so that when your season to step outcomes, the world won't know what hit them!Keep shinning mama!!
This post was first published on Lagos Mums
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