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So you want to become a stay at home mum, here are things to consider || Stay at home mum in Nigeria

There are different circumstances that lead to people making the decision to become a stay at home mum and also there are different circumstances that families are in, let's look into that quickly. 

Category 1: Some families the husband makes enough income to sustain them and even if the woman doesn't work or earn money as a stay at home mum, it won't make any difference. 

Category 2: Some families the husband isn't earning a lot and the wife also isn't earning so much but if they spend on childcare, it won't make any sense. So, it makes sense for them to spend less on childcare if the woman decides to stay home and they would also need whatever extra income.

Category 3: Some families can't afford to lose an income but based on their values, the reality of where they live - it might make sense for one of the parents to stay home to focus on the children and it's really something they want to do. 

This post is for every one of these categories, helping to see things you need to consider and questions you need to ask yourself to map out your strategy to become a stay at home mum;

Category 1:

Everyone in this category as much as it may seem like it's going to be easy, I still believe you need to plan. You might not plan as strictly as others but it's necessary. 

  • Ask that your family pays you a salary (however little) You see that money that would've been spent on creche? Ask for a portion. 
  • Make a list of the value you are adding to your family by being at home 
  • Since you don't have to worry about making money, start thinking of things that can help you feel fulfilled as an individual and find ways to get involved without it hurting your family.  
  • Based on your answers above, work on your personal development strategy. What do you need to be that person? what do you need to be good at? What online courses can I take? etc.
  • Save money and seek investment opportunities as your savings grow, because your family is taking care of everything doesn't mean you shouldn't save. You can build wealth gradually, the little drops will make an ocean. 
  • As your little ones grow older, start asking yourself what you want to do with your life and plan accordingly. 

Category 2 & 3:

  • Before you quit your job, Have a plan! 
  • Ask yourself these questions: 
  • Do I have any savings? How much?
  • Have I identified what I want to do when I leave my job? - This is because in each of these categories they need extra income but if you don't need extra income right away, I will say give yourself about a year to find yourself or less if you find it early. 
  • What do I need to start what I need to do? - What will my capital be? Do I need training? Do I need to intern? What exactly do I need? Write it down! 
  • How much money do I need to save before I can comfortably leave?
  • Can I start this side business before I leave my job so I can know if it is viable? 
  • Based on the answers from the questions above what realistic timelines are we looking at? 
  • When you start making money from your business, save! no matter how little use apps like Piggyvest, Cowrywise etc. to save and invest.  
  • Read this article things to consider before starting a business as a sahm

It's important to note a few things regardless of whatever category you fall;

  • When you become a stay at home mum, know that it's an amazing thing you are doing for your family. Own your journey, don't look over at the other women in envy but draw inspiration. 
  • Don't let anyone put you down. All of the above takes work to even put it together, so know that it is valuable! 
  • You will have to lower your standards abit for a while but know that it's not forever. 
  • Explore new hobbies, start a blog, volunteer for a cause, whatever you decided to do make sure you enjoy the journey, it won't be forever! 
I'm rooting for you! Why do you want to be a stay at home mum?

Please, let me know if this is helpful, share with someone! 


  1. Anonymous10.3.20

    Thank you Tomi. This is very encouraging. I recently left my job to stay with my children so I will say I fall into maybe category 3. My husbands job pays well. I have a fashion business, I edit and proofread, I manage two book clubs (adult and children). I also write. I will say that I am doing well. But when I made the decision to leave my job in Ibadan to move with my husband and the children, even my mum thought I was insane. It wasn't funny at all. It was painful because I'd expected my mum to understand but she didn't oh. My parents fought me silly. My husband and I made the decision together but I brought up the idea so there was no pressure from him. My husband wrote a book on his experience with porn and masturbation 2 years ago and because of that he has had to talk to a lot of students and young people. So, we know the dangers of two of us being in our careers especially in these formative years (I have a 3 year old and a year old) I know that if I fail in my duties as a mother, God will deal with me seriously. God's original plan in my opinion is for mothers to tend the home, while fathers go do the hustle. One of the God's purposes of marriage is to raise godly children for His kingdom and the devil is very much aware of this. So, he messes up with the economy of the world so that both parents will have to go to work. He also begins to expose women especially to unhealthy content on social media that makes them doubt themselves everyday. Raising children is a lot of work that requires dedication and commitment and prayers. Blogs like yours are there to encourage mums like me because it's crazy out there. Trying to make people understand my decision to stay at home is so hard that I don't even try anymore. I just tell them it's a personal decision. I don't have the mind for homeschooling yet but I appreciate what you are doing. My daughter had to start creche at 4 months because I had to return to work. It was originally 3 months but I had a surgery and my boss was a sweetheart. He gave me one more month to recover. My son is a year and 3 months now and he has not stepped into a creche. And I love every moment we spend together, he loves to scribble and I try to get educational materials for him. We are doing well.I was planning to send him to school in April but my husband thinks it's too early. Maybe September. please forgive the typos please (coming from an editor). im rushing to leave this comment.

    God bless you Tomi.
    we have a mutual friend (Adeoti Igbalajobi) tell her Ife Aduradola (Egbeyemi) reached out.

  2. Oh wow!!! I totally agree with you God does indeed want us to raise godly children and its amazing to see that you are making that a priority! I totally get not wanting to send your younger child to school yet and that's perfectly okay. Thank you so much for your comment, its always lovely to meet people who 'get' you! I will ask Deoti. Nice to meet you Ife