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Caring beyond caring - A Tribute to Mothers on mothers day

It is my first mother’s day and as my son grows closer to the end of his first year on earth it is inevitable that I get this moment of reflection. I can categorically now say that I had no clue what mothering entailed. When I went to visit people that gave birth and even the closest to me - my sister - I still never understood. You never really understand until you are a primary caregiver to a child.

It’s not just a bath; It’s like just seeing them taking baths for the baby and thinking that is all that it entails but there is the cleaning of the ears, nose, cutting of the nails, burping, pacing in the middle of the night, vomits, after immunisation temperature, sleep training, colic crying child, sleep deprivation, picking out the outfits, enduring kicks before you eventually get the diaper in place.  

It’s really not about you; I have been a mother for almost 1 year now and I know that mothering is one of the hardest jobs that there is. The weight -which shouldn’t really be a weight - of the responsibility that has been placed on your shoulders to nurture and raise a well rounded individual starts from the moment he/she gives the first cry. I have also realised that in the moments when I thought about myself and my comfort, It was detrimental - to a certain degree - to my baby. I know there is society that says “Take care of yourself” at least It’s only a stable mother that can care for a child right? But what if your caring for yourself is getting in the way of your duty to raise this child? You put it in the back seat without apology. I have learnt that.

So, I would go to bed early so I can stick to his routine even if I know it practically means not getting anything done at night or in the morning or be willing to grugy if I am stubborn and work till past midnight - the point is to not let me also get in the way of my duty in the name of taking care of myself (Not that it is not important)  

You have to learn balance; I have learnt so much about balance, not work-life balance or how to juggle being a mother, career woman and wife but more about balance with caring. How much is too much love? How much of this will translate to spoiling your child? Should I shout? How do I correct this budding habit? He is 3 months now and doesn’t sleep through the night will it ruin him for life? Does this child even understand anything yet? You know a child doesn’t come with a manual, you have to rely on the experiences of those before you - yet children are not the same, so how do you balance it? THAT IS THE BALANCE I AM TALKING ABOUT.

You become BIG BROTHER; You have to be a hawk, literally noticing everything your child does or doesn't do. How your child reacts to things, play pattern, sleep pattern, feeding pattern, poop pattern, poop textures, pee pattern and frequency, cry pattern, milestone pattern just name it, you have to know, why? Because one can affect the other and your baby cannot tell you exactly when something is wrong.

I KNOW first hand now that when saying “Caring for a child” there is so much that meets the eyes.
It is not just a bath!
It is the care beyond the care!
Happy Mother's day.
Happy primary caregiver’s day.

One day is not enough to celebrate the primary caregivers of a child. Yes! It is the primary caregiver that deserves to be celebrated. They are the ones that do all the work!


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