It’s 8:21 PM, and I’m sitting on the floor between my children’s beds, typing away. The house is finally quiet, but my mind isn’t. I’m reflecting on the past few days—frustrating, overwhelming days.

I keep wondering: Is it me? Am I just stressed?
Or is it them? Are they just extra overactive this week?
It’s definitely them, right? Because, honestly, this week hasn’t even been that busy.

A few days ago, my son did something, and I spanked him. I don’t know if he was surprised because, while I’m a no-nonsense mum—full of consequences and threats—I rarely spank. But this day? This was one of those days. And honestly, I don’t regret it. It wasn’t one of those moments filled with guilt.

Why Are They Like This?

I don’t like this version of myself that I see when I’m pushed to my limits. The version where my kids act 100x worse when I’m around. Yes, I know it means they feel safe with me, but does it have to be this frustrating?

Why should it take them ten times longer to respond to me? Why do I have to repeat instructions like a broken record?

I’ve even started questioning the basics—like, how important is it really to take a bath every night? I mean, some people don’t bathe daily, right? What’s the actual worst that can happen if I let some things slide? If I let them keep ignoring me?

Motherhood vs. The Internet Version

Girrrrrllllll… I AM TIRED AND TRIGGERED!

I know it’s not just me, and I know it’s not just my kids either. But sometimes, it feels like my kids are the opposite of everyone else’s “good” and “well-behaved” children.

You know the ones—the perfectly captioned, aesthetically curated images with beige backdrops and an angelic child turning a new age. The ones where motherhood looks so effortless, so perfect. But on this side of the internet? Parenting isn’t perfect. My kids aren’t perfect. And right now, I’m just a tired mum, sitting on the floor in the dark, documenting this moment.

Someday Soon, This Too Shall Pass

It’s now 8:33 PM. One kid is still awake, tossing and turning, asking random questions—his restless mind refusing to shut down.

Boy, if you don’t sleep now…

Phew. I don’t know if this rant will make me feel better. But if nothing else, I want to remember this moment. Because someday soon, it will all converge and make sense. Someday soon, this too shall pass.

I still don’t know why my kids have been acting like this (maybe it’s the full moon?), but I’m holding onto hope that tomorrow will be a better day.