“Train up a child in the way he should go and when he grows he will not depart from it”

I recently saw a video online where a girl (not older than 4) told her mum “F#%k you b*tch” and the first statement I said after watching it is “She must have heard it somewhere” children come as a blank slate and we are custodians of them, they will be a direct reflection of what we portray , not necessarily everything we teach, which is why it is so important that we are proactive most especially in their formative years to instill the values that we want them to exhibit and also for us to start forming those habits as parents.

Why is it urgent?

According to unicef children between the ages of  0-8 are in their formative years and it is in those years that we need to double down and do the work that is needed in order for us to raise well rounded children with the right value system.

Why is it so important that our children have the right values?

They are the future leaders: Imagine if the most corrupt person in the world has the right value system? Every boss, citizen ( I know it is not possible) had the right values? Won’t the world be a better place? Our children will be the future bosses, presidents, governors, religious leaders, thought leaders and won’t it be absolutely delightful to have a large crop of the “good ones” in their generation? We have to do the work.

Peace: You as a parent will be so much more at peace when you know that your child(ren) will be doing the right thing wherever they are or at most they would be in the hands of the one who knows it all. We have to do the work.

It is very important that we raise children with the right values not for themselves alone but for the nation and the world at large.

How do we ensure we raise them right?

-       Define what ‘right values’ is: I am tempted to say define what right values mean to you but can we all agree that even as parents sometimes we don’t even know what the right values are as we are not perfect. I am a Christian and I define my values based on God’s word and his instructions based on that I go ahead to define those values I want to see in my children and we start working on it. This is about you anchor point. What values do you want to see in your child(ren) go define it! 

      Imbibe/ work toward it: Children are sponge and if only they soak what is being said and not what is being modelled, won’t that be awesome? but that is not the case, they soak up what they see before what they hear, those values you want to see in your children, it is time to start modelling it. That is why it always seems like you are a better person after you give birth to your children because you will have to be a better person for them.

Stay Consistent: With children everything  has to do with consistency and that is the hard part. Children's brains are still developing and the logical reasoning part has not fully developed yet which is why when something that seems logical, like not going back to something that hurt them a while ago doesn't make sense to them. Everyday is like a reset button, you have to understand that and don't assume that because you said it yesterday they will remember today, you are setting yourself up for frustration if you think like that. Treat your child like they have amnesia and repeat your instructions (lovingly - like you are saying it for the first time) over again till they get it because they will get it.

If you are a christian mum and you need resources to help you teach your children about God, I have a free resource on the shop page that you can download, I hope it helps you.

How do you think we can instill the right values in our children?