• Sample grocery list, 
• Cleaning schedule for your home, 
• Sample market list, 
• Sample food time table for your toddler and 
• Other home resources 
• Editable Expense Tracker for your family expenses
• It also comes with a bonus of places to visit in Lagos and Abuja with your kids

 One of the biggest questions you get when you say your child is not going to a traditional school is "How will he socialise?" this is one of the disadvantages people bring up about homeschooling which I would say is not a disadvantage at all. 

Let's talk about socialising! 

For us to better understand what this is all about let us define socialisation according to the dictionary;

a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position.

Based on this definition, this is precisely what homeschooling is about, but we would guess that what people are mostly talking about is the social skills that are required to be learned by kids and individuals. So, what are the social skills that children are required to have;

• Sharing
• Cooperating
• Listening 
• Following Instructions 
• Respecting personal space 
• Making eye contact 
• Using manners 
• Taking turns 
• Helping others 
• Asking for help 
• Not interrupting 
• Waiting Patiently 

• Sharing: Share what you have with your child and make the conscious effort to ask your child for something that is for them too. This has to be done deliberately and often too. Say "Thank you" or "It's so nice of you to share your drink with mummy" over time they won't have a problem with sharing. 

• Cooperating: This is a tricky one because even from taking a bath in the morning, it is always a struggle but you have to continue to demonstrate the appropriate actions you expect and also say it to them. Be sure to give an advance warning before it is time "In 10 mins we would have to take a bath"

• Listening: Actively listen to your child whenever they call your attention to tell you the same thing for the 100th time, in modelling listening to them they know they should listen to you. Drop down to their level, call their attention and hold it. 

• Following Instructions: Start from single instructions "Hey baby, please come" then move on the multiple instructions "Hey baby, pick up the toy and bring it" While playing together or doing a craft you can continue to show them how to follow instructions. 

• Respecting personal space: Once your child can listen to simple instructions you can always tell them on different ways they can respect personal space e.g "Please knock the door" "Mummy is taking a bath right now, please come back later" encourage them to also take their space if they are upset or want to play alone "You can sit over there if you want to calm down" they won't always get it but as you remain consistent with the instructions they will get it. 

• Making eye contact: You have the opportunity to help them make eye contact with you everyday, while taking a bath, eating, playing. I usually say "Look at me" right before I say anything to ensure that he looks me in the eyes. If your child doesn't want to constantly make eye contact please consult your doctor. 

• Using manners: Showing and telling in everyday situations is the best way to go about this. If you want your child to say "Thank you" tell them "Thank you" if you want them to be polite, be polite not only to them but to everyone around you. They watch you for what to do and how to act. 

• Taking turns: Look out for opportunities in your day to take turns e.g taking baths for your child, give them the sponge and ask that they scrub themselves then you ask for your own turn, take turns in brushing their teeth, take turns in preparing for dinner/breakfast etc.   

• Asking for help; Encourage your child to ask for help but ensure you emphasize the need to try first. Children get frustrated easily as they are getting control of their emotions but you have to get down to their level and let them know they need to try first, use their words to tell you they need help if they can't do it. My son is 3 now and he is trying more before asking for help or throwing a tantrum. There will be a time that they will only throw a tantrum but you have to acknowledge their emotions and guide them on the appropriate approach. 

• Not interrupting: This one is very tricky around younger children, one approach I have seen around is teaching your child to stand beside you (while you are talking) and holding your hands as a way of indicating that they need your attention and you squeezing their hand to say you hear and will give them the attention they need as soon as you can. They way, they don't feel ignored. This will be hard to achieve with younger children but telling them early will be a sure way to achieve it faster. 

• Waiting Patiently: Start with something they are interested in and ask them to wait for it; e.g baking, they can practice waiting patiently as they watch the oven of their yummy goodies baking, waiting for water for swimming to fill up, waiting for tv time. Just be creative and see a way you can let them know the joys of delayed gratification. 

• No Tv very early: I have a lot more knowledge on the reasons why I shouldn't allow screen time so early and I am hoping to be able to put that knowledge to in motion. I don't know how it will work out because obviously, my son has TV time and don't know how practical it will be to not allow a baby watch the TV that is right there but hey! That's my intention.
• Try to sleep train earlier: I tried sleep training my son when he was little but it was such a hassle and I gave up too easily, so as he grew up we now only sleep trained again at 3 years old and now, he still wakes up every day at midnight without fail and that can be frustrating for me. 
• Get a high chair: I heard this from a mums24 when she was telling me about her daughter and the difference having a high chair made in her feeding habits and all. I didn't even get a high chair for my first but we got a table and chair for him when he turned 2 but he still will stand up and run around. I am hoping that the high chair will help with feeding.
• Start homeschooling earlier: I will be more purposeful with my child's learning from birth as against waiting till 1-year-old or 18 months. 
• Might breastfeed a little after 12 months: I would love to extend the breastfeeding till after 12 months, even if it is by pumping and storing. I felt guilty about how I stopped breastfeeding at 12months! 
• Enjoy the newborn phase more: My son's birth was something and I didn't get to enjoy the newborn phase as much as I would have loved to, I was depressed most of the time, so I intend to enjoy the newborn phase more when my second child comes, be happy and make the moments count.
• NO CO-SLEEPING!!!!! END OFF!!!! 😂😂😂

What will you/did you do differently with your second child?

How do you deal with loss while you are mummy-ing? If I say I have the answers I will say it's a lie, what I have found that has worked for me;

• Take each day as it comes: I took each day as it came, I remember the times we had, our conversations and mostly push aside any emotion I feel - which might not be good - but it was all I could get.
• Let a trusted person have your child(ren) for a while so you can carefully process your loss: In the first week, my husband just tried to let my son not disturb me too much but in all honesty, I wish I could just be left alone for like a whole month but we know that is not possible right? 
• Accept all the help you can get
• Ask for alone time: This is the first time alone without my son since it happened and I asked for alone time, enough time for me to let the flood of emotions wash over me and really really accept that it happened and hopefully accept the reality.  
• Take all the time you need to heal, don't try to snap out of it especially when the world has moved on from the loss: It will feel like the world has moved on and it indeed will but taking small small chunks of the hard pill in order to facilitate the healing is great help. 
• Find someone to talk to: To be honest, I've not really spoken to anyone about how deeply this still hurts but I guess writing this is also some form of therapy for me. Aring out my feelings.
• Draw your children close, they bring so much laughter and joy to wherever they are; As much as the fast pace of my life with my child has not allowed me to process a lot of my feeling, the presence of my child brings so much joy and laughter into my life and makes me less moody and I can't imagine the hole I would've sunk into if I wasn't forced to stay joyful because of him.

1. PICK THE RIGHT FINISH

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