June 2020 / The Cuddle Blog

Series recommendation for when the kids are asleep || Series you can binge on || The Cuddle Blog

June 23, 2020
Decided to create a list of series that you can watch if you want to keep your mind off everything that is happening.



Let me do a quick review of the ones I have watched;






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Blackish: 8/10 Real life issues in a funny way, light-hearted.
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Superstore: 7/10 borderline silly but funny, just a laugh it off show to pass time, nothing serious. 
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New girl: 9/10 This show is actually funny, they don't do it again but it was fun when I watched it. 
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Big Bang Theory: 10/10 Hilarious show! Pass time but also can give you deep belly laughs 


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How to get away with murder: 9/10 The show declined as the seasons went higher but it is a real suspense-filled show. One of my favs 
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Agents of Shield: 10/10 Creepy, suspense, thrilling what more can I say? If you are into that kind of stuff, you'd love this show! I am literally at the edge of my seat. 
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Prodigal son: 9/10 There is just one season of this so far but it's a thrilling crime, detective, 'dark' series, the sound engineering for the series is another reason I love the show, edge of my seat type of show! Love it!!! 


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Stranger things; 9/10 Just like the name sounds, filled with strange things. It can mess with you, I watched just one season but I enjoyed it, just didn't have the stomach to watch the rest. 
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Power: 7/10 Drugs, actions, betrayal, guns, strong language. It was a good show but I didn't like how it ended, such an anti-climax for a 'power-packed' show. 
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Stumptown: 8/10 This one is also new action, crime, investigation and all. Light-hearted action series. I enjoy it too. 
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Chicago P.D: 7/10 You know those detective movies that it's the pattern each week? Yeah, but I just love the Oga and his ways of dealing with the crimes. It has also declined as the show progress



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Crown: 10/10 Love the history, how I can just go and google whatever the episode was about and read up on it. Great great acting. 
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The good wife: I don't know how to rate this show but mhen, it was a great show, I watched it after it aired and just couldn't get enough if you're into law drama, this one is a great one. 
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Jane the virgin: 9/10 mother of all the "feel good" series, telenovela like never before but also great love stories! 
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Suits: 9/10 Another great law series, I love this one for the dialogue... Chai, it's always so refreshing! 
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This is us: 10/10 Another feel so good series, go through history of a family's story, twists, turns, joys, tragedy and how they deal with it. It always has me in my feels! Awesome show!
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Greys Anatomy: I can't rate this one because I've not actively followed it but I know it's a great show worth trying, I want to start from season 1 because I need something to keep me busy. 
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Working Moms: Not watched this one but I hear it's a relatable show. 
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The good fight: 7/10 Spin-off of The good wife, great law series too. I just don't like that there is too much Trump talk, but I love all the law banter 
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The good place: 6/10 The explore the concept of the after-life, philosophy in a funny way, it is a silly pass-time adventurous series 
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Pearson: 8/10 It's a spin-off of suits but it was cancelled after season 1 and I don't even know why because it had promise but you can enjoy the one season. 

Which ones have you watched/are you watching? 
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Practical things to implement as a stay at home mum with your spouse for security in case of loss || The Cuddle Blog

June 12, 2020

When we hear stories of women who have been done wrong by their spouses family after the death of the spouse our first response is always

*“That’s why you need to have a source of income as a wife”*



Without us knowing this continues to push the narrative that what stay at home mums are doing is not valuable and makes women rush into business with fear without properly thinking through what business entails. I understand that we cannot plan for death and more so how the family will react in this but what we can do is also try to make sure some things are in place in our families in the event of the death of any spouse. 



“Go and start a business” should not be the default answer because starting a business will not take care of the humiliation you’d feel from your supposed “family” or the fact that someone will come out of the blue to take everything you’ve built with your spouse for donkey years! No, having an income won’t take that hurt away! However, business is HARD!! It’s risky, it’s uncertain and you don’t want to be caught in a business that is just about money because that is hard to sustain - what if the “money” doesn’t come for a few years? You’d run to the next thing? At the expense of being able to fend for your children?

Here are some practical things to implement to limit the power any family can have over what you and your husband have built;

  1. Have an honest conversation with your husband: The place to start is to have an honest conversation with your husband. Let him not think you’re praying for him to die but it’s the reality of life. What will happen when you die? What will happen when I die? Let it be stated and let it be put in motion all the things that need to take place. 

  1. Start the process of including each other in legal documents: Yes, each other. Who is your next of kin on your documents, who is his next of kin on documents? Does anyone own a property before marriage? What are the steps needed to include the other party on the documents? 
  1. If your husband has a business, get part of the shares and be documented with your kids as directors or create a holding company: I don’t exactly know how this works but I know that someone that doesn't have shares cannot push you out. What is the process to add you to the list? This is not saying you’d do the business now, but just be included in the legal documents.

  1. Let properties be bought in the company name; If you have to now purchase a property and there is a business, buy the property in the company name (recently heard this from an older couple in business) that way with you and your children as the directors of the company you can always decide what to do with the property. Of course, we know that the legalities of business don't allow for one to make sauce decisions like that on the fly but the idea is that the husbands family cannot just decide without your consent.
  2. Life insurance: I know this is not exactly cheap but I know you don’t also have to pay it once, with life insurance you get a certain amount when your spouse dies.
  1. Let there be a will: Most importantly, let there be a will. You might think this is not important or you don’t have anything but it will be the only legally binding document that will make anyone backoff. When it is created, it will just be reviewed as time goes by. Asides from the husband writing a will, you as the wife should also know who the lawyer that is the custodian of the will is, this is to ensure that you are in the loop of things and nothing can happen behind your back.

All of this is said under the assumption that you are in a marriage that is between 2 people who are submitted to one another as it should be. I know it’s not the ideal situation for everyone and in those situations, I would still say keep having the conversation but don’t go into a business fueled out of fear of “what will happen” know that what you are doing as a stay at home mum is valuable and worthy of note.


Another thing to note is, anyone that thinks they need to take other people’s property because they are in a vulnerable position is absolutely in the wrong and will be held accountable to God and humanity. 



I am not saying stay at home mums shouldn’t run a business or earn money, I also know people who have had to let go of doing business for this journey of being a stay at home because it’s not an easy thing to combine. 



So, if you think you can run a business while being a stay at home mum ensure that you have the right information of what you need to know before you do start and I really pray and hopes it works out. 

Please let me know what you think.

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Positive toddler parenting tips || How to parent toddlers || The Cuddle Blog

June 10, 2020


I recently had a 3 days virtual hangout with a group of mums, we talked about different things. From being parents to toddlers, potty training, sleep training & home educating your child. Here are some of the things we talked about; 
* Toddlers are emotional human beings and all strategies are not one size fits all but we can have a couple of options to help us make handling them better for us. 

* We agreed that crying and whining is not necessarily for no reason while they might have a hard time expressing themselves but we should always connect with them & acknowledge their emotions.

* All feelings are valid but not all behaviour is acceptable. Acknowledge the feelings and continue to reiterate better behaviour 

* Model what you want them to do

* Consistency with our instructions and leading is key 

* Forgive your toddler in advance for all the things they will do to you in the day before the day starts and after each tantrum or anything, try to refresh in your mind like they didn't just do it, so we can be less frustrated by them. 

* Give them 2 choices you are fine with and let them pick from those choices

* Use positive statements, instead of saying "Don't run" or "stop jumping" give them the alternative of what to do, because saying "don't run" leaves them hanging and we are not telling them what to do instead. So, give them the option of what to do.. Instead of "don't run" say "Please, walk" instead of "stop shouting" say "Use your inner voice" so basically find positive alternatives. 

* We also agreed that children are not really lazy they are just not interested in that thing we want them to do, an option is to anchor what we want them to do as a prerequisite for what they want to do. e.g Clean up the living room then you can play your video games 

* Another mum talked about Consequences, have the talk in advance, you lose your tv privileges for a few days or few hours if you do Xyz or don't do Xyz and when it's time for the consequence you can empathize with them but the rules are the rules. 

* Visual Schedules: Printing out a visual schedule of what is to happen throughout the day can help them know what is next and there can be a reward system in place

* Acknowledge when they have done something. Doesn't just have to be "good job" "well done" but state what exactly they did "I see you took your plate to the kitchen without being prompted, that's thoughtful" 

* The mums who have an older toddler and a baby, It works differently for each of the children but consistency with preparing your child even after the baby is born, taking minutes each day to focus on just the toddler, giving your toddler gifts from the baby are some of the things that have worked for some of the mums. Give them time to adjust too. It's more work for the mum realistically. 

* We also talked about spanking and most of us agreed that it is possible not to spank but it is harder work, the reason why we might look to reduce spanking is for your kids to also not think it's okay to do it, it's traumatic for them and it informs how their brain is wired, it induces fear in them. While it is a lot of work it's beneficial to them. 

* If there are specific things that they do a lot they grinds you e.g Jumping, throwing, somersaulting those types of things, give them a set time to do that thing so that they can always look forward to it. 


* We also agreed that the toddler years are short and intense, but patience is key as we go through this phase. 

What tips would you add?


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You don't have to homeschool do this instead || Homeschooling in a pandemic || The Cuddle Blog







Let’s face it, we are all different and I know that there might be a lot of people out there trying to encourage you to homeschool your kids in this pandemic but homeschooling is not for everyone. As much as some people can try they just don’t have it in their bones, as much as some people can try they are just too exhausted to do it, as much as some people can try they just can’t juggle the demands of working from and homeschooling. 


Just like everything else, homeschooling is HARD!!!


We have been thrown into a difficult situation all over the world and while we are struggling to be stable mentally, we have to deal with homeschooling too and working from home? Sigh!! I said you don’t have to homeschool in the sense of the word “Home” “school” you don’t need to have a table and chair, designated area or attending zoom classes for your younger kids to feel like you are keeping them engaged. You’d find that the work it takes for your to even keep them focused on the said virtual class is so much more than if you just let them be. So, why don’t we just let them be? 

The thing that is causing us stress with regards to homeschooling is the pressure of thinking of "what they will learn" "if you are a good teacher" "if they will know to write" or "learn a certain thing based on the curriculum" but I want to tell you that ALL of that doesn’t matter!!! 

You are your child’s first teacher, yes, but you also know you are not a teacher. 

One thing you are is a learner. So, how about shifting focus to looking at yourself as a co-learner with your child? 

Secondly, think about this quote:

"Knowledge which is acquired under compulsion obtains no hold on the mind." - Plato

Here is also a quote from a blog 

“When learning is connected to living it is meaningful. It is not something that occurs at certain times, in certain places, with certain people. It occurs all the time, everywhere, and with everyone around us.”  - Whole family learning


Do you see? You don’t have to homeschool but what you can do instead is connect learning to living! 

Let them be involved in the every day, let their curiosity be an area of exploration. A child can learn to write by an interest in writing a letter to someone, a child can learn punctuation by reading books, a child can learn arithmetics from an interest in baking. A child can learn physics from an interest in cars. The possibilities are endless. The general rule of thumb for me is to follow the interest, the learning will happen without you forcing it. 

While I advocate for this to be the way we approach learning with our children, I also know that there are some parents who need to take the pressure to do things a certain way off themselves and just focus on what is important. 

I hope this helps take the pressure off. 

How has homeschooling been for you and your family?

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Edible Sand Tray || Simple sensory tray for 1 years old+ || Cuddle Blog

June 8, 2020

Materials
1. Garri (blended rolled oats can be an alternative)
2. Cocoa powder
3. Oil
4. Scooping materials
5. Spaghetti soaked in brown food colouring


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Measure the Garri or rolled oats based on the quantity, I used about 2 cups and same measure for the cocoa powder.


Garri & cocoa powder

I added oil till I got the consistency that looked like kinetic sand.

With added oil

Add scooping materials and let your LO play.

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Homeschool Theme: Bugs || Homeschool Week 22 || Nigerian Homeschooler


Our Plan for the week. 

Monday
  • Nature walk - Bugs edition
  • Bugs observation
  • Dragonfly craft
  • Playdough Insects - ladybug
  • Bug rocks
Wednesday
  • Spider web hunt
  • Butterfly scissors practice
  • Spider paper plate craft
  • Butterfly Painting
Friday
We did through the week:

We started off the week with a nature walk with the intention to catch a bug but I didn't think we were actually going to find one dragonfly waiting to let us catch it. It was so exciting. 



We went ahead to observe it with our microscope 


We let it go as soon as we were done with observation. It was a rainy day so we went back out to jump in muddy puddles *In Peppa pigs voice* 






Went ahead to create a dragonfly craft: 





Playdough bugs: 


Catapillar

Spider

Snake 
It will take a lot to tell a 3-year old that a snake is not a bug so we just went with it. 

Spider web hunt:




Spider Craft: 

Butterfly Painting:

Butterfly cutting practice: 



Spider web gross motor game: 



Edible Sand sensory tray: 


Bee Tissue roll craft: 

Feed the bugs with pom poms: 



All-in-all it was a great week and I am sure he had fun, he particularly loved the tissue roll bugs and kept playing with it. I was even roped into a pretend play with the bugs. haha! I loved it, can't complain! 

Next week we are exploring Dinosaurs! Can't wait!

How was your homeschool last week?
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